I.

Barack Obama to Hillary Clinton 11:15pm: And the landslide will bring you dowwwwn!

Clinton 11:22pm: 8=====D ← suck it

II.

Elizabeth Kucinich to Barack Obama 11:41pm: Hey.

Obama 11:49pm: Um. Hey. What's up?

Kucinich 11:52pm: Nothin. Wanna come over?

Obama 11:58pm: To Ohio?

Kucinich 12:03am: Sure. Or wherever. I could meet you halfway. Maryland?

Obama 12:06am: Um. You're married.

Kucinich 12:12am: LOL. K. Bye!

III.

John Edwards mass-text to everyone in his phone book residing in South Carolina 12:34am: WTF, you guys?

IV.

Dan Rather to Anderson Cooper 12:40am: Dude, stop that 3D chart bullshit. It's annoying as fuck.

Cooper 12:45am: Dude, 8=====D~~~~~~

Rather 12:51am: ?

Cooper 12:57am: I just busted a nut in yer eye.

V.

Dennis Kucinich to Elizabeth Kucinich 1:08am: Hey...haven't heard from you all day. You ok? Could use some company...

VI.

John Edwards to Hillary Clinton 1:47am: Sucks, right?

Clinton 1:58am: Please drop out.

Edwards 2:04am: Can I be VP?

Edwards 2:34am: No?

VII.

Chuck Norris to Mike Huckabee 3:16am: Wanna get in on a threesome?

VIII.

Hillary Clinton to Joe Biden 3:29am: Hey...I missed my period.

Biden 3:37am: Um...

Clinton 3:41am: Ah! Sorry! Wrong text :p

IX.

Obama to Bill Clinton 3:56am: Hey, FAT ASS!!

Clinton 4:01am: I'll put ur ass in a cement mixer.

Obama 4:18am: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOOLL!!!!!

X.

Bill Clinton to Hillary Clinton 4:24am: Obama is being a dick.

Hillary 4:28am: Please stop texting me.

Bill 4:32am: I love you?

XI.

Giuliani to McCain 4:58am: Ha. Did you see the SC coverage? ROFL.

Giuliani to McCain 5:45am: Hey. Wanna split a hotel room in FLA?

McCain to Giuliani 5:57am: Want me to split my cock into your brain?

Giuliani to McCain 6:01am: If that's what it takes to save some money..... ;)

Giuliani to McCain 6:23am: I just think you're real cool...

XII.

Dennis Kucinich to Elizabeth Kucinich 6:45am: So, I guess I'll just go to bed...

XIII.

Hillary to Bill Richardson 7:01am: Hey...bad news...