Look out, sheeple! It's time to blow your brains out with some straight up TRUTH!!

It's been a fantastic year for the 9/11 truth movement. We've uncovered some serious evidence that indicates exactly how the corrupt conspiracists concocted their colluded plan. First off, we should catch you up on what we already know.

We already know about the controlled demolition. Air being pushed out by a massive change in pressure as tons of glass, steel, and concrete were pouring down our big asses!! Those were explosions, planted by FEMA or perhaps Israelis.

We know about Flight 93: People fighting back? Bullshit! The plane was flown to a Cleveland airport and replaced with a prop plane. BA-BOOM!

And the pentagon. Oh, that pentagon. If you still think that an airplane could do all that damage, than I pity from your inner lamb guts to your woolly outerness. The Pentagon was hit with a cruise missile. Fuck those guys that saw a plane coming in, those folks are liars.

Now. What have we learned this year? You'll be shocked and pleased to learn that we've finally found the bag of trash that the maids took out of the secret underground briefing room where the major heads of the conspiracy concocted their dastardly plan. I bet Rummy never thought we'd find it, but it's OURS now!! And guess what George Bush was snacking on that day. Gummi Bears. Specifically, HARIBO Gummi Bears, which fills in another link in the 9/11 chain. Obviously, the Haribo company wanted to be involved so as to shut down noted candy store, Candy World. I bet you government bastards thought we'd never find that one out, didn't you! All American Patriots should shop at Candy World from now on so as to stick their red white and blue finger right into the eye of all those greedy genius conspiracy bastards!

My fellow truthers! Do not let the crushing complexity and total lack of evidence point you into that dreaded Scientific Consensus light! We are talking about the truth that is in our brains, not that bastard truth that so called science creates using so called evidence! Who cares that a conspiracy of the kind we are discussing would require such ingenius foresight and so many people who would all have to have kept their mouths shut for these past seven years to render it a near impossibility?! Who cares that this same government who can keep this massive conspiracy a secret is the same one which couldn't stop us from learning about Watergate and Monica Lewinsky?! This is a different government now, and their evil genius has been laid bare before us and us alone. You truthers, you scholars of liberty, you brilliant white knights in a world clouded by omnipotent evil men, MARCH ON!!