With the United States government coming out and saying that waterboarding is legal, we here at 23/6 would like to recommend a couple other things to bring into our stable of techniques:

THE RACK

A fantastically painful device used in the Middle Ages that literally stretched the bounds of what it meant to respect other human beings. Terrorists will surely whine and moan, but we bet they'll talk after their arms and legs are wrenched out of joint!

THE IRON MAIDEN

What's worse than being stuffed into a tiny box full of horrible metal points that will kill you by draining your blood, slowly and painfully? Realizing that it's named after a woman! It's that final kick to a chauvinist that convinces terrorists that we get them.

ROPED INTO PAINFUL POSITIONS FOR HOURS AT A TIME

John McCain himself can attest to this wonder. Ask our next Republican candidate for president why he can't lift his arms above his head. It'll be a funny story, we're sure you'll agree.

Liberty, freedom, cruel and unusual punishment. These are just words. In a world where international terrorism is so dangerous to us at every waking moment, we need to be willing to be as bad as our enemies if we are ever going to be better than them.

Bauer would do it.