It's a Damn Good Thing Barack Obama Never Goes to Church

April 27, 2008

All I'm saying is, it's a damn good thing Barack Obama wasn't ever at any of Reverend Wright's sermons when he said something incendiary. And considering how often Reverend Wright seemed to say things that other people felt was HUAC worthy, I guess Barack went to church as more of a Christmas and Easter thing, barring those few Christmases and Easters where Reverend Wright planned to yell at America for celebrating while there were people dying elsewhere in the world, which I would have done in his place.

It's a good thing that Barack Obama distances himself from phrases like "Goddamn America for treating our citizens as less than human," because I want my next president to be a man who supports treating our citizens as less than human. And what's more, I want our next president to be a person who contradicts everyone around him, if they say anything he disagrees with. I want our next president to be a man who's willing to stand up in the middle of a crowded room of foreign diplomats and world leaders and say, "For shame, world. In America, we'd have already solved that problem." And maybe Barack Obama is that next president, because apparently he was never in the room when the volatile Reverend Jeremiah Wright was giving his sermons.

Because there's nothing at all wrong with America: Illegal wiretaps, racial profiling, a system of law that hands out life imprisonments for young black men who were raised in cities where the drug trade was all they knew--this is all just part of the beautiful quilt that makes up America. It's a melting pot, remember? There's nothing wrong with any of that, so why would someone, when given a microphone, proclaim that there was? Everyone given a microphone who doesn't make it clear that America is on the right (or the Wright! ha-HAH! Puns are hilarious!) path is obviously a communist bastard who should be fired into the sun.

So, it's a good thing Barack Obama was never in the room for those sermons. I would absolutely hate it if the man who wanted to change the nation had any sort of outrage over how the nation acted. I don't know about you people, but in my opinion, outrage is one thing that never becomes motivation for change.