I'd like to announce the sad and untimely death of one Vivian Bierl of Lenox, Ma. Vivian, a former Hillary Clinton supporter who had switched over to the McCain/Palin ticket, was hit by a car while chasing her cat, Mr. Snuggles, who had somehow gotten onto a pair of roller skates and found his way into the road. I caught up with Mrs. Bierl's family at the hospital, and since I am too poor to own a video camera, I can only transcribe my conversation with one of Mrs. Bierl's concerned family members.

DICKERMAN: Pardon me, are you Vivian Bierl's family?
CONCERNED FAMILY MEMBER: Are you her doctor? Is mom OK?
D: Is Mrs. Bierl an organ donor?
CFM: What? My mother's dead?
D: How would I know? Look, if worse comes to worse, do you think she'd mind if I removed her brain for a bit of analysis? Kind of a hobby of mine.
CFM: What's WRONG with you? Why are you...Where's the doctor?
[Runs off in tears. I turn to other people around us.]
D: I didn't hear a "no." Did any of you hear a "no"?

Once the body was in the ground, I made my way into the graveyard. I used subterfuge so as not to disturb the grieving.

Fig. 1 - A clever disguise!!
Using the finest tools at my disposal, I removed the brain and placed it in a convenient brain carrying device. Fig. 2 - The finest tools imaginable
Fig. 3 - Brain carrying device
I then proceeded to the lab of my friend, Jordan Balaban for analysis. Transcript follows.

D: Hey, you do shit with brains, right?
BALABAN: ... yes.
D: Here's a brain. Do your thing.
B: What?
D: C'mon! Analyze it!
B: What for... where did you get this?
D: Stop being a pussy! You fucking pussy! Just crack that sucker open and analyze!
B: Fine, fine. You didn't remove this from a grave, right?
D: ...
B: ...
D: No. I did not.
B: Your word's good enough for me!

By the way: Jordan, if you're reading this now, what I actually meant to say was "Yes." Sorry for the confusion, but at the time, it was really funny.

Anyway, Jordan sent me the results last night, and now I have the unique pleasure of sharing them with you! I present the composition of the brain of former Hilary Clinton, turned McCain/Palin supporter, Vivian Bierl.

Fig 4. - Science!!