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A Secret Meeting Between Florida and Michigan |
As some of you may already be aware, I'm Jewish, and therefore I have within me the natural ability to practice law. It is because of that that at the end of last year, I was approached to act as legal concierge for Florida and Michigan, as they attempted to set up their primary. However, I'm not a very good or ethical lawyer, so I took care to tape every conversation that we had and I'm OK with sharing one with you. I think that with Hillary Clinton's open letter to Barack Obama, it's gained a bit of relevance.
This isn't fair!
Yeah!
Hey guys. What's going on?
Well, lots of stuff.
Stuff that isn't fair!
Not fair at all!
Well, tell me, guys. I'm here to help.
Well-
You know-
It's like... all these other states, they get to vote really early in the primaries.
REALLY early!
And we're supposed to be going late and...
We don't think it's fair.
Ah...guys, I'm sorry. But hey, I'm sure that the Democratic Party will let you go early, too, if you asked them.
Nu-Uh! We already asked them.
And they said, "No." Jerks.
They said if we went early they wouldn't count us.
Well...look, guys, I'm sure that they'll put you in there eventually. And when they do, your votes will count and it'll all be OK.
Well...we think...we were just sorta talking and...
You say it.
We think we should go early anyway.
Oh...guys...I don't think that's a very good idea. They said they wouldn't count your votes if you did that.
Yeah. But we think we should go early anyway.
I understand that. I understand that you think that, but you'd sort of be disenfranchising yourselves.
No. We think we should go early anyway.
Look. Guys. I know you're upset. But really. You won't get to participate in the election.
Ow!
You're a meany, too!
Meany!
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