Anyone notice what was plastered all over the news yesterday? No? Take a look at the top 20 Google Trends stories. Anything jump out at you? Notice anything repetitive? I hardly think anyone should be coming to my blog for breaking news. But for those 43% of readers not visiting from the DC area or the Empire State, New York Governor and fellow Jew Eliot Spitzer was implicated yesterday for allegedly having sex with a high-class whore at the Mayflower, a historic hotel in the downtown/south Dupont area of Washington, DC.

The hotel has hosted an inauguration ball every year since Calvin Coolidge's presidency and is said to be the place where FDR penned his famous "We have nothing to fear but fear itself" inaugural address.

The Mayflower is also where I once "illegally" took a piss.

Three years before Gov. Spitzer, a one-time future presidential hopeful now relegated to the bin of sex scandal history, allegedly bedded a prostitute from something called the Emperor's Club VIP, I went in to the Mayflower while walking back from a night of kickball and drinking.

I entered through the main entrance on Connecticut Ave. and as I sauntered through the lobby, having told my teammate to just "act like you belong" so as not to get noticed, an employee at the front desk asked if he could help me. I said "no" and kept walking. I had, after all, to take a monster piss I would not be able to hold in before getting home.

He came out from behind his desk and asked me if I was a guest in the hotel.

I was wearing my dirty, sweaty kickball jersey, probably doused in spilled beer from playing flip cup, muddy shorts, and cleats.

"I wish!" I replied.

This did not make him happy.

I just need to use the bathroom real quick and I'll be out of there, I told him. But no. Mr. You Can't Use Our Hotel Bathrooms Unless You Pay for a Hooker told me I had to leave. Sensing he was serious and that getting arrested in my kickball outfit would not endear me to the denizens of a DC jail at midnight, I took off.

But then I snuck in from the back.

In my defense, I really had to go. I used the lobby bathroom as quickly as possible (not that nice of a facility, surprisingly) and got the hell out of there before Mr. You Can Bang $5,000 Call Girls in Here But Not Use Our Ugly Toilets caught me.

Gov. Spitzer, known in FBI files as Client 9 (an otherwise sweet-ass nickname), will ultimately have to resign for his indiscretion. Fucking (allegedly) a whore the day before Valentine's while having busted prostitution rings as New York Attorney General is not exactly the best political career move he could have made.

I'm sure his bathroom in Room 871 was nicer (allegedly) than the one I used and he was able to (allegedly) use it legally. But he had to pay thousands of dollars for that right, nit to mention his marriage, career, and reputation.

I merely had to play kickball.