It was a momentous day in Australian history today...of course you all know why right?...No? Today, the Australian government finally said "SORRY" to the Aboriginal people for over 200 years of genocide, discrimination, abuse and generally crap treatment. All it took was years of Sorry petitions, Sorry songs written, Sorry t-shirts worn by celebrities, Sorry walks across the Sydney Harbor bridge for the government to spit that one word out. (In truth, all it really took was getting rid of George Bush's little Oompa Loompa--John Howard.)

So, in honor of the special day, I have a few Sorries I feel I should share. I would like to say:

- Sorry to the Asian girl in my 8th grade math class--I knew you could speak English, I was just jealous that you beat my final grade.

- Sorry to the homeless lady who stopped me on Sunset last night--I really did need those quarters for parking.

- Sorry to my cousin Cassie--it was me who cut your Barbie's hair off.

- Sorry to the guy that keeps sending me messages on MySpace--I am not really married. I lied.

And on behalf of the American people, I would like to say sorry to the rest of the world for George W. Bush.