Written by: Mike Huckabee (to prove Romney's Jesus is false!)

Episode 666

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away the Mormon God lived on the planet Kolob. Apparently, Jesus' only weakness would be a piece of Kolonite.

The angel Obi-Wan-Maroni revealed secrets to the young founder of the Mormon religion, Joseph "Luke" Childbrider:

1) Jesus was the spirit-brother of Satan. Satan used to hold Jesus down and dangle spit in his face, that joker!

2) Jesus was chosen as the Messiah because the angels voted that he had come up with the best plan to save humanity. In his yearbook they also voted him, "Most Likely to Get Nailed over the Summer."

3) Those angels who rebelled against God were turned into Black people. Of course, only Satan would support Affirmative Action.

Joe Luke wrote this knowledge in the Book of Mormon and used the Force to force teens to marry him.

The Emperor's final prophesy is that an evil Darth Romney will use a Jedi Mind Trick on the entire population to hide why he looks so strong, virile, and healthy with the simple phrase, "These aren't the 'roids you're looking for."