The legally blind David Paterson was sworn in today with the promise of never visiting a prostitute. This is a huge relief for Democrats who think that paying for sex is too Free Market.

I'm excited about having a blind black leader like Star Trek's Geordi La Forge. Paterson will lead us into the Final Frontier where black men can catch cabs and black drivers won't be profiled just for going Warp 10.

Also, Paterson may have a secret identity like the blind superhero Daredevil, using his super-sense of hearing to karate-chop corrupt inside-traders.

As far as sexual indiscretions go, Gov. Paterson will never be involved in a sex scandal due to the fact that he is blind. When you are blind, you have no idea what "more beautiful" means, so sex with your wife is the same as sex with a supermodel (except your wife will pick out the expensive lobster, while the model will stick with the $7 salad).

So the governorship shouldn't be in danger, unless he uses his sense of touch like we use our eyes. OMG! If elbow calluses turn him on, even Helen Thomas might not be safe. Or even worse, he could tie women up in his cellar and douse them with cold water to satisfy his goosebumps fetish. He's more perverted than I thought. Mr. Governor, please take my advice, when you get caught fingering women at an orgy, just say you thought you were reading braille.