Today the GOP reacted with pleasure to news that when former Congressman Mark Siljander received his indictment for aiding a terrorist organization he was not in a men's bathroom.

Here are excerpts of an interview with RNC Chairman Mike Duncan:

"Being a Republican these days has been hard--not 'hard' in any gay way. You know, almost everything that comes out of our mouths or comes in our mouths sounds gay--not 'cum' but 'come'...see what I'm saying? Just to be safe, we cut space funding for a probe of Uranus, so that we weren't caught saying the phrase 'probe Uranus' in public."

"If Siljander wanted to send money to fix Osama's dialysis machine, that's fine with us--sort of a faith-based healthcare initiative. But if he wanted to check Osama's prostate himself, then that would be unforgivable."

"Now of course we fight terrorists over there so we don't have to fight them here. We should therefore be grateful to Siljander because we can't fight them over there if they have no money for weapons. Am I right?"

"This election year, Republicans want your vote. We are the party big on family values and ambivalent on betraying your nation. We have a new slogan: 'Vote Republican: We'll Behead Your Tax Bill...and Your Loved Ones.'"