Megyn Kelly anxiously smoothed down her creaseless pencil-lined skirt for the umpteenth time. Being alone in the America's Newsroom set during after-hours always gave her a case of the heebie-jeebies. Megyn's mind wandered as she considered whether or not you could say "heebie-jeebies" on air. She didn't think so, it sort of sounded vaguely racist if you said it really fast in your head. Also, if you used a Southern accent.

To ward off the chills that only a vacant Fox News room can bring, Megyn thought about her costar and secret sex lover, Bill Hemmer. God he was hot. Everything from his feral features to his easy, high-pitched laughter....yes, it was Cincinnati Bill she loved, not her husband. Kelly just hoped that their sexual attraction wasn't evident on-air. She had always tried her best to maintain a professional demeanor, but sometimes their lupine passion created a highly charged sexual environment. Several times, Bill had removed his pants during b-roll segments so Megyn could pleasure him while he reported the latest gas prices increase.

Suddenly, she felt someone come up behind her and place a rough hand over her mouth. "Don't scream" a gruff voice demanded. Kelly moaned in pleasure even as she adopted a scared, subservient gaze as she turned to face her masked oppressor.

"Oh Bill, I mean...Mr. Kidnapper...what do you plan on doing to me?"

The man in black sighed, and removed his mask. "Gosh Kelly, we've done this scene a thousand times before. What do you suppose we try something new?" Kelly was annoyed at having her foreplay interrupted...Bill could be such a prissy bitch sometimes! But that was the way it was with all male co-anchors, in her experience. Strong and cock-sure in front of the camera, preening and sort of gay as soon as the lights were off. Still, the man was hung like the Republican mascot.

"Okay, Bill, what did you have in mind?" Kelly reached behind her lover and opened the America's Newsroom storage closet to consider the plethora of bondage and role-playing apparati that came tumbling out towards her feet. "Do you want to do Bill and Hillary? Bill and Monica?" She leaned down and between two manicured nails picked up a damp, flaccid object. "We have the cigar from last week, but it might be kind of.....soggy."

"I was actually thinking about something a little naughtier." Hemmer's eyes had a sadistic gleam in them this evening Megyn noticed, a gleam she had always attributed to her parents the night they decided to eschew traditional spelling when naming their baby girl. "How about I'll be Randi Rhodes, and you can be big, bad, Air America?" He leaned over and dropped his pants, waving his butt enticingly.

Megyn groaned inwardly. "How come you are always trying to have me peg you, Bill?!" She considered her lover once again, this time with a more objective eye. He DID wear an awful lot of "salmon" colored shirts. She didn't care what he said about it being a soothing color for viewers, that shit was as pink as he was. But damn if he wasn't the most well-groomed man she had ever met outside of Mary Joe Matalin.

"Hey, I think I have a game we can play that will make us both very happy," Kelly purred, turning away from Bill and reaching into the closet...

Soon afterwards, Bill found himself bound to his station's swivel chair, naked except for his paisley socks. Megyn noticed this but swallowed her disgust for the sake of the game. She walked towards Hemmer with a sturdy gaze and cracked him across the jaw. Hemmer's eyes rolled back with lust. "Now, Olbermann, are you ready to tell me where you get your secret, commie information, or am I going to have to beat it out of you?" Megyn said gruffy. Hemmer groaned and spat on the ground. "If you want my top five, Bill O'Rielly, you are going to have to pry it from my cold, dead hands."

"Oh, we have more advanced techniques for information retrieval in the GOP" Megyn/Bill said, as she dropped to her knees and placed herself between Bill/Keith's legs.....