February 11, 2008
Candidates on the Daddy Issues

DISGRASIAN | Bio


Senators Clinton and Obama were both featured in separate interviews on 60 minutes last night, each staking their respective claim for the Democratic presidential nominasian.

We've actually been leafing through OpEd piece after OpEd piece since Super Tuesday last week, trying to nail down the definitive reason for a whopping 75% of the Asian vote in the highly influential state of California going to Hillary. Everyone's got their theory--whether it be that Asians follow community leaders, or tend to vote for people with frown lines like their grandma's.

But we think Couric really got to the bottom of it all during the interview last night, while digging into the Senator's Hardass upbringing:

"President Clinton described your dad, I believe at his funeral, as tough and gruff?" Couric asked. "And I know I've read that when you brought home stellar grades, instead of praising you, he's [sic] say, 'You must be going to an easy school.' ... That must have been so demoralizing."

"He really wanted to motivate me. And it worked," Clinton said. "You know, it really did. He would say, 'You can do better. You can do better. Keep going. You can do better.'"

"Do you think he'd still be saying, 'You can do better'?" Couric asked.

"Probably," Clinton replied.

At long last, we've found the answer! Asian voters can smell Hardass Asian Parenting from a mile away. Ergo, the Super Tuesday vote was one of solidarity, like thousands of unified Asian-American voices saying, "Hey Hill, our dads didn't hug us either."