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America's Next Top Model: Gongbanger Edition |
Gongbang
v.
an assault to the ears of gonging sounds that occurs in movies and television whenever someone or something Asian appears on screen. (See: Long Duk Dong in Sixteen Candles.)
Gongbanger
n.
one who participates in the crime of gongbanging.
After watching America's Next Top Model last night, during which Tyra announced at judges' panel that the remaining contestants were "going to CHIII-NA!!!," our ears felt like Jodie Foster on the pinball machine in The Accused. Damn, Tyra, we give you props for putting trannies, cross-dressers, voguers, Janice Dickinson, and other people who scare the bejeezus out of middle America on your show, but gonging while you screech the word "China" is so played. Don't get us started on the lions, that chinky fan you were awkwardly dancing with, or those low-rent martial artists you had swinging swords off to the side of the panel.


Has your BFF Kimora "Chinky Giraffe" Lee Simmons given you a talkin' to yet? Because if she doesn't beat your ass, we sure as shit will.











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