I'm thankful that Mike Huckabee isn't our president yet, even though "reminding me of a kindly uncle" has become more important to voters than "believes in evolution." I'm thankful that Fred Thompson hasn't gotten higher in the polls, not only because he'd be a terrible leader, but because there's a painting of some beautiful young man rotting in an attic somewhere, and Fred Thompson is that painting. I'm thankful I'm not a vegetarian, because turkey is delicious, yo. I'm thankful that our next president doesn't think that turkeys were created by god the day He thought up Africa and Skype, unless our next
president is Mike Huckabee. I'm thankful The Daily Show will be
back someday. I'm thankful for the podcast version of Wait Wait Don't Tell Me. I'm thankful that I haven't woken up with a horse's head in my bed after writing this. I'm thankful that Chuck Norris wants me to change my mind about Mike Huckabee, and I'm thankful that I don't have to because how can you
change if you can't evolve?