Since everything is in our heads, we had better not lose them. - Coco Chanel (creator of the little black brain.)

With his cute little emo haircut and cock-sure strut, Christian Siriano's big win on Project Runway confirms what I've always believed: There is Nothing more boring than dresses, shoes, handbags or DIVAS. Throughout this season this self-satisfied kid's charms have worn as thin as cheap San Francisco Silk. But during Wednesday's finale, I did find myself rooting for Christian...until he was chosen. His Russel Crowe-with-none-of-the-masculinity swagger returned, and that cocky self-assurance flared up like Charlie Manson in a macramé class.

He Looked to Heidi Klum and said, "People need to see more of my fierceness." Christian (age 21) then pivoted toward Judge Posh Beckham and threatened, "We'll be in touch," and disappeared like the last piece of Christmas shrimp.

Now, gentle reader, don't think I follow these reality TV shows to the end, because I was just surfing my way up to Joan River's Jewelry Collection on the Q.V.C. (You never know when she is going make a crack about Filipinos eating dogs.) But after watching this winner strut off like an INTELLIGENT, gifted Paris Hilton, I have made a decision. "Never watch a television show with anyone under 70 in it."

Maybe it's because I was raised in Pasadena, where we believe a bit of humility can be just as attractive has a well-constructed empire waist set off with Reese's Pieces buttons. This whole "fierce bitch diva" act within our culture has is growing as stale as good, old Mayonnaise, and is most likely a result of our kids being weaned on a steady diet of Wife Swap, The Hills and Lindsay Lohan's little sister. Everybody wants to be a celebrity, a legend. NOW! Maybe it's because there is No heaven and the only way to attain immortality is to become a star. Everywhere you look you see, boys, girls, gay, straight, all seem to be snapping their fingers in the air as if they were in a hailstorm of pistachio nuts: "I am fierce!" "I am fabulous!" "I Rule."

No. You don't rule. You don't even know who Helen Keller is. And if you did rule, you would be a ruler. And then you would be a ruler deposed. The only one who ruled when he was 21 was King Tut, and look what happened to him. He became a Mummy. I live within throwing distance of Britney Spears' empty coffee cups, so trust me, I cross the paths of these divos and divas on Robertson daily. They will tell you to your face, "oh, I'm a Diva and I am fierce." Well, in the dictionary fierce can also mean brutal, vicious and sadistic. Especially when that "fierceness" is coming from a barista.

I am convinced that it all started in the 80's with those "Careful. Baby On Board" signs parents would place on the windows of their Range Rovers so people like us would not randomly engage them in a sinister game of chicken. These kids were raised as "precious cargo" and were given trophies just for showing up to soccer practice. As a result we have a whole generation in the work force that won't respond unless they get their daily dose of worship. "...That was great Billy, here is your trophy. Next time wipe it with Lysol."

I am in show business, where "diva" means treacherous bitch who will execute you if your breath smells off. I hope that Christian learns that just because you're gifted, artistic and talented doesn't mean that you can't also be humble and gracious, because there might just be some other "diva" out there who will place a sign on the back of that new car you just won that says, "Careful. Future nose job aboard."