No female Polygamists? I found one.

One of the biggest polygamy cases in the nation's history became more complicated Monday when Texas officials found the first female polygamist, Wilma Anne Jefferson, known to her sect members has Mama Misty.

A search warrant authorized troopers to enter the retreat run by the Fundamentalist Church of Latter Day Cougars. They are looking for evidence of marriages between a number of 16 to 18-year-old underwear models and the 49-year-old Jefferson. Agents searching the sect's small, well kept polygamist compound said they found 25 'Love Cots' in the sect's temple. Prosecutors believe the cots were used for middle-aged women to have sex with their underage "super cute and adorable boys." There is also evidence that some were married in a ceremony during an episode of Ryan's Hope.

The compound was raided after authorities spoke to a 16-year-old Asian male, 5'7", 110 pounds, smooth, black hair, brown eyes (disease free, of course), who said he was given "a nasty neck massage and then abused by five women who also made him sweep, garden, and can apple preserves."

One officer, who asked to remain anonymous, broke down when he saw the conditions that some of the young men were forced to live in. "Some of these boys were forced to do sit ups all day to an endless loop of the song Let's Get Physical. There were over eleven rusted Bow Flex machines and buckets of cheap hair gel. It looked like an Abercrombie and Fitch photo shoot in Satan's hell."

I spoke with Tang Bang-Cruz, a 31-year-old who whispered into a borrowed cell phone, "I am a very sentimental guy and outgoing. I love smiling and let the world pass me by. This is not how I want to lead a life." I could hear tears in Tang's words."I feel the Angel Moroni has gone down on me."

When asked how he got involved in the cult, Tang told me he had posted an ad on Craigslist looking for afternoon sex with an older female...or place to get Chinese food. "My post read that a perfect date would be having coffee or enjoying some gelato. It said nothing of sex with the cast of The Ya Ya Sisterhood. I never thought I would end up married to Wilma and then having to share her with 18 other very young, attractive men. After all, I am Catholic from Manila."

I drove through the parched Texas landscape and spoke to Wilma in the visitors' room of a low security prison. I was struck by her Sarah Plain and Tall good looks in her nineteenth-century dress. She bore a striking resemblance to a haggered Olivia Newton-John. She stood up when I entered, extending a calloused hand that quickly found its way to my crotch. She had been churning butter her whole life, and I was helpless.

The officer who stood by the door rolled his eyes as Wilma said, "I am concerned for my husbands. Why is it that men get to have all the perverted fun on God's Texas Earth? I am taking this all in stride. The Mormon Church has been very supportive and I also have received an edible flower arrangement from Camille Pagilla as well as a movie offer for Mary Steenburgen to play me in my life story.

"Women are no longer just hanging around fixing screen doors. We will have sex with any piece of man ass that crosses our path. Cops. Box boys. Paper boys. We want to do what men have done...we want keep our husbands shirtless, shoeless, and getting us pregnant. Is that so wrong?"

When I informed Wilma that medical workers are being sent to the compound, and law enforcement officers are "preparing for the worst," she was outraged. Wilma slammed her hand on the table and said, "We women can be ganged-banged and still get up and make a salad with pears and Gorgonzola. No sweat. Men can only really enjoy sex maybe three times a day, while a woman can have sex 24-hours straight. She just has to apply our self and relax." Wilma's manner turned solemn, and I could see clinging to her religious beliefs. She almost whispered, "That's why it's the great WHORE of Babylon, not the great Gigolo of Babylon." Then, Wilma opened a Gideon's Bible and, with a voice of thunder, read from book of Ester, chapter 18, verse 4: "Likewise shall the ladies of Persia and Media say this day unto all the king's princes, which have heard of the deed of the queen? Thus shall there arise too much contempt and wrath." As she closed the Bible, Wilma gave a deep sexy once-over to the cop at the door and whispered, "I get so turned on when I see these guys in action. I love how the bulletproof vest makes them looks buff. I love the cop walk."

Wilma extended her hand and touched mine and pleaded, "Look, I am a horny woman and I want my husbands back."

"More teenage mothers emerge in Texas polygamy probe"- Reuters
"Polygamist Sects: A Lesson In Style" - Huffington Post

Related: The Polygamist Wives on Larry King Live

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