Al Gore's Nobel Peace Prize has been called into question by Jim Baker and crew. The very same crew that challenged Gore's winning of the presidency.

"Look," said Baker, "No one has done more for peace in our time than G. W. Bush. How can I possibly say that? Well, until you've had your nuts put in a vice by Barbara Bush, you have no idea what you'll admit to. I will say this, though, it's the last time I ever down a half quart of Jim Beam and pass out on a lounge by the pool at George and Barbara's place in Maine. Of course, I did say that very same thing after she forced me to get the popular vote in the presidential election overturned. What G.W. has done in the last six and a half years is totally unprecedented in American history. His administration has brought together more criminally incompetent appointments under one roof than ever thought possible. My God, just a cursory glance will buttress that assertion. Rumsfeld, Cheney, Gonzales, Myers, Rice...well really, this gathering has caused an implosion into a wormhole that winds its way out into a time and place where up is down, in is out, left is right, and right is wrong. My point is, you just can't judge W. by normal worldly standards."

"We've got a real good chance of reversing this Nobel thing on grounds of voter tampering. The Swedes' use a low-tech Swiss type of ballot that is easily manipulated. Thin slices of Swiss cheese are laid out over a paper ballot containing the names of those in contention for the prize. The voter simply makes their mark through the appropriate hole in the cheese. Well, it's clear to us now that much of the cheese was poorly holed. Some slices had as little as two holes, and a number only had one. Now I ask you, is that any way to run an election? It's just crazy. Headed up by former President Jimmy Carter, deli owners from around the world came in for an entire weekend to "check the cheese." If necessary, we're taking this all the way to The Haig...Al Haig. Few know crazy like Al Haig. All I can say is, thank God he's still in charge while Reagan's indisposed."