After more than 717 performances, Celine Dion has shrieked and flailed her way through the last A New Day of the Same Thing Vegas Cirque du Show-Off and left the building. The wax figure of Ms. Dion that for nearly five years stood at the entrance to the theater at Caesar's Palace has signed a contract to continue the show through February 2019.

Nearly three million people have seen Celine's blousy bag of tricks. In a semi-related statistic, three million is the number of resident cattle in the Canadian province of Alberta in any given year.

Three million. That's three million multiplied by ticket prices, souvenirs, CDs, cocktails, and foolish gambling choices. (Don't even waste your quarters in the René Angélil One Armed Bandit.)

How angry do you think John McCain is at the fact that he had to take a $3 million loan last month to help finance his campaign when he could have just had everyone at the shows donate $1?

It's not too late, Senator. Go after them. Find them. It can't be more work than filling out all that paperwork and having to interview with the prissy bank manager. Go! Get on that stupid bus and go look for them! For crap sake, you can find them! They are glassy-eyed. They carry the stench of bad judgment. They have Celine fanny packs strapped to their gut. Those fanny packs hold the key to your future, McCain.

My guess is they're headed toward Branson, Missouri.