Ed note: this was supposed to be a two person live blog, but one of the participants spent the who movie sobbing and was therefore not useful.

1:25p Hungover liveblogger #2 (aka Nick) says he doesn't want to see this movie, I explain that no one does, but it is our liveblogging duty.

1:48p Movie opens on Halloween at Cornell in 1998. Patrick Dempsey, dressed as Bill Clinton, climbs into bed with a chick who sprays him with perfume. Wait, Patrick Dempsey is supposed to be 20?

1:50p Amazingly enough, giving actors bad hair extensions does not make them look 30 years younger than they really are.

1:52p PD crawls into bed with some chick. She calls him ugly. He now respects her and wants to be her friend. This is not the reaction I get when I call men ugly.

1:54p Nick warns me he might cry at the end of this movie. Little do I know that "end of this movie" actually means "every five minutes."

1:55p It's ten years later. PD is still falling in and out of bed with women--you cad! Some blond he just fucked wants to see him again tonight. He says he "doesn't do 'back to backs.'"

1:58p Hannah works at the Met, repainting peni on classical paintings. She and PD are still BFF.

1:59p PD stops on the street to tell a golden retriever that he loves it. Hannah says that he should try telling a person he loves it for once. Snap!

2:02p PD convinces her to go to his father's sixth wedding with him. They show up to find the dad negotiating the prenup on the way to the alter. He wants sex five times a week with bimonthly blow jobs. Nice.

2:08p Hannah magically realizes she's in love with PD, but when she tells him she's leaving for Scotland for six weeks, he doesn't seem to care.

2:10p PD plays basketball with group of emotionally retarded men, cast in the movie to make guys feel less pussy-whipped for being there.

2:14p PD tries to fill the void left by Hannah with hot blonds. None of them can measure up. Nick is crying. Turns out I'm not okay with that, despite warning.

2:16p PD tells basketball retards he has feelings for Hannah. He says there's "more to life than just sleeping around." They don't get it. I can't tell if this is more insulting to men or women, but either way I'm gonna blame misogyny.

2:18p Hannah and PD cannot reach each other despite advent of cell phones.

2:19p They meet up when she gets back. He's going to tell her he loves her, but instead she tells him she's engaged (OMG!) to a guy who saved her from some cows in Scotland. They are getting married and she wants PD to be her maid of honor. (Maid of honor/made of honor. Clever.)

2:20p This is the exact same movie as My Best Friend's Wedding, except with the gender roles reversed. Why would anyone do this?

2:25p Chick from Dawson's Creek hates PD. Thinks she should've been maid of honor.

2:27p PD takes Scottish guy to play basketball with emotionally retarded friends. Needs to "size up" competition. Scottish guy is so gay, sucks at basketball.

2:28p Turns out Scottish guy can dunk. Face, Patrick Dempsey, face.

2:30p All PD's boys see the Scot nakie. He has huge weenie. Now PD is inferior in every way. :(

2:35p PD's guys come over for poker, end up stuffing shower baskets. One of them eats some potpourri. Again, men are proven to be retards.

2:40p PD throws Hannah a bridal shower. Dawson's Creek girl set him up to fail by having him invite pleasure palace lady. Hannah is pissed cause her grandma is all into the thunderbeads. She runs out.

2:41p PD goes after her, asks what's wrong. She says she had dreamt of her wedding shower since she was a little girl. (No one knows what a bridal shower is when they are 10.) And that he had screwed it up by not taking it seriously, cause he sucks.

2:42p PD realizes he can only win her back by being the best Maid of Honor ever. Am LOVING this plot.

2:44p Elizabeth Hasselbeck makes a cameo. Perfect match. Good job, Made of Honor producers, good job.

2:45p PD helps her pick out lingerie for the wedding night. I took Nick into a lingerie store once for 30 seconds and he had a panic attack. No one would put on a teddy in front of a guy friend and tell them they want to be naughty. No one.

2:50p PD's dad gives him a pep talk on the meaning of love. Nick is crying again.

2:56p They all have to dress up in Scottish garb (aka kilts) and play games to win the girl. Alex thinks this is unacceptable bolstering of negative gender dynamics, Nick thinks it's romantic.

3:02p The Scot wins. Duh, he's a hunter who plays the bagpipes. It was totes over before it started.

3:06p PD tries to tell Hannah he loves her. Nick is fucking bawling.

3:10p They finally kiss, but she tells him she's still marrying the Scot so PD packs up and starts his journey back to New York.

3:16p PD sees the dog (the one he said he loved earlier) in the street. Thanks love dog, for making him realize that he loves that chick. He knows now that he must stop the wedding.

3:20p There's no time to drive to the chapel, but luckily he happens across a mighty steed. He gets on a horse who throws him throw doors of church just as the reverend asks if there are any objections. Nick will never be the same.

3:21p He says he loves her and says she looks ugly. (Aww, we've come full circle!) She tells him he's the worst maid of honor of all time. They kiss.

3:22p Scottish guy hits PD. FINALLY.

3:23p Hannah and PD get married. I no longer wants to be friends with Nick. The end.

Related: Liveblogging the Movies: Step Up 2 John Rambo