The New York Times reported yesterday that Hillary Clinton has elevated her struggle to an entirely new manic level, writing "On the trail and in interviews, she raised a new battle cry of determination, likening her struggle for these delegates to the nation's historic struggles to free the slaves and grant women the right to vote."

Here are some other helpful suggestions should her well of desperate metaphorical amplification run dry:

• The travails of waiting for her campaign plane to get refueled "remind me of the long and painful journeys that our immigrant ancestors endured, as they escaped from hardship and oppression around the world."

• Having to risk the consumption of dangerous pancakes, waffles and sausage in West Virginia "makes me realize the pain of the Tuskegee airman who had to endure untreated syphilis as victims of racist scientific experimentation."

• The ordeal of having to answer endless reporters' questions is a "modern example of the suffering endured by victims of the Spanish Inquisition who had to answer the same questions over and over until their hands and feet were bloodied by their interrogators."

• The pain of lending her campaign a few million bucks is "reminiscent of peasants during the Middle Ages who had to turn over a portion of their meager earnings to feudal overlords."

• Having to wear a similar pantsuit every single day is a burden that "brings to my mind the Yellow Star that Jews were forced to wear, and could never escape from, during the horrors of the Nazi years, not to mention the concentration camp uniform whose image has been seared into our memories."